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7 Warning Signs You Are Raising An Entitled Child

17/05/2018/0 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Ethissa

Are your kids the boss of the house or you?

Are your kids ordering your helper (maid) to get things done?

Truth is, it is a very common sight these days these type of children around, in what we refer to them as tyrant toddlers or entitled children.

What is a tyrant toddler?

If you google the word tyrant, it translates to a cruel and oppressive ruler.

When you add the word toddler together, it literally means a toddler who is exercising power and control through unreasonable (and sometimes cruel) ways.

Don’t believe in the word cruelty? You’ll be amazed how some kids shout at their grandparents, parents and helpers, to the extent of hitting too.

Before things get any worse, better watch out for these telltale signs of an entitled child.

What are the signs of an entitled child?

Here are 7 signs that point toward an entitled child.

1. Bribery

You need to bribe your child to get things done, or at least to behave.

Good behaviour in a child needs to be cultivated and taught

But definitely not through bribes.

2. Blames others

Even if your child is in the wrong, he will point fingers at others.

Refuses to admit that he’s at fault even if he is.

To be honest, even we adults do it too, don’t you think so?

3. Does not help

Yes, like a boss.

Expects help to be given. Does not even want to lift a finger.

In the end, your child may end up super-malas and wants to be spoon-fed all until adulthood.

Definitely not healthy, at all.

4. Tantrums

Generally, tantrums are relatively normal in growing children. However, if it reaches a point of manipulation, you better be careful.

If your child starts throwing tantrums frequently to get the things he wants, that’s being manipulative already.

Rules do not apply. Just bulldozes his way through.

5. Selfish

No care for others.

It’s all about me, myself and I.

Does not share, snatches from others and all those behaviours that you yourself find it intolerable.

6. Greedy

No self-control over things. We use to say enough is enough but for these children, more is always better.

There is no satisfaction present and shows no gratitude for things that are already made available.

7. Cannot accept losses

It’s great to win, but only through losses, we learn. However, it is not the same as a tyrant toddler.

“Die-die” also must win. And in the event of a loss, entitled children will find it very difficult to accept disappointment.

How to deal with an entitled child?

If you suspect your child is in this category, then you should be doing something about it, right?

Unless you do not have the slightest insight into what is going on, and still believes that your child is righteous and all, then there is not much of a point reading the next section.

I am saying this because I have met enough individuals to say that everyone feels that they are right, but to accept reality and the truth takes a whole new level.

And that itself, is called insight.

For those who have the insight, here’s what you can do:

Learn to say NO

It’s easy to give in to our kids especially when we are in public. The feelings of being ashamed and being looked at if our kids go full tantrum mode are always there to haunt us.

In the end, we tend to say “yes” most of the times to our kids just to make sure they are contented and us being free from public humiliation.

However, it’s high time we learn to say no when indeed, a “no” is required.

A child should learn to accept all the other emotions too like sadness, disappointments and rejections. Afterall, life is like a box chocolates, you’ll never what you’ll get.

And by that, your child will encompass what it needs to be a better person in future and the survival skill to go through difficult times.

Do not over-praise

Praises are good. It encourages a child and reinforces good behaviour.

However, keep in mind not to overdo it.

“Clever boy!” is one of the commoner ones you’ll hear. Clever boy this. Clever boy that. Everything’s so clever.

One day, your child might even label himself as being clever and everyone else must follow suit, allows him no room to get better since he is already clever.

In fact, we need to learn how to humble ourselves and remember that there is always someone who will be better than us.

More importantly, talk through task your child has just completed and the steps he did to get the job done. This opens up room for discussion on how to be better, than being showered with empty praises.

Do not over-indulge

To be honest, no need to keep buying toys and toys non-stop for your kids.

We may want to compensate them for the time loss from our work nature but that is not the right way to do it.

You’ll be surprised to see that some kids have a whole room filled with toys but hardly ever touched them.

One, it’s a waste. Second, your child will not learn to see the value in things.

So what can we give?

Our time.

Encourage gratitude

So you ask, what is gratitude?

“The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return the kindness.”

Please and thank you, of course, is very important but they should not be applied in exchange for only favours or big events.

Teach your child from young, to appreciate the little things in life like when someone opens the door for you, or when someone offers up his seat in a bus for you, you say thank you.

And that’s the receiving part only.

Remind your child that one day if he sees someone in need or help, to return the kindness as well.

Be an example

Time and again, I have mentioned this many times.

Our kids learn best from us, as parents. We can tell our kids to do 1001 things that we want them to do but if we ourselves are not showing the right example for our kids, it is useless.

If you do not want your child to be glued to mobile devices, then you do not glue to yours.

If you do not want your child to shout in public, then you do not shout at your spouse.

If you do not say please and thank you for the smallest of things, then you do not expect your child to do the same.

You get the idea.

In conclusion

Raising kids is not easy. And definitely, it’s a trial and error when it comes to doing the right thing.

At times, we do not even know if it is the correct method.

Therefore, it is always good to equip ourselves with the necessary knowledge, to chop it down into small bits and pieces and keep them at the back of our heads.

To use it or not, that’s at our discretion.

How To Know If My Child Is Ready For Preschool?

26/04/2018/0 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Joyce Rachel

So your child has celebrated his third or perhaps the fourth birthday. What’s next?

Now for many parents, deciding WHEN to send your child to preschool is a milestone worth celebrating. It’s a start, a big start in education decision.

The most important question of all, one that all parents have to consider:

Should I send my child to preschool?

If yes, when? 3 or 4 years old?

Early childhood care and education (ECCE) in Malaysia

According to schoolmalaysia.com, early childhood care and education (ECCE) in Malaysia is divided into two age groups:

0-4 years old
4-6 years old

The first group (0-4 years old) involves:

childcare centers
nurseries
taska

The second group (4-6 years old) involves pre-school education:

preschools
kindergartens
tadika

Preschool vs Kindergarten

Most Malaysian children start to attend preschool at the age of 3-4 as preschool programs are generally more flexible; it’s like a kindergarten training ground.

Kindergarten is then attended between the ages of 4 to 6. In other words, kindergarten is the first step in your child’s formal education.

The choice is yours to make.

Some parents may choose to skip preschool altogether and send their child to kindergarten at 5 or even 6 years old.

However, although age is the main indicator, we would like to highlight other factors that should be taken into consideration before you enroll your child in a preschool.

How to know my child is ready for preschool?

Here’s a preschool readiness checklist to help you out:

Has basic self-care skills

Basic self-care skills include knowing how to use zippers and buttons, washing hands, and eating a meal without adult assistance.

It’s best if your child is fairly independent and self-sufficient to make the most out of his time attending preschool.

Potty-trained

Most preschools do enforce the requirement that your child must be potty-trained. Teachers won’t have time for diaper changes.

Your child may feel insecure and ashamed when he sees other kids are not wearing diapers.

Furthermore, preschool is where your child should be learning and developing new skills, not hindered by the lack of confidence due to not being able to go to the toilet on his own.

Understand simple directions and can follow a structured schedule

As your child grows, he learns things more easily including understanding and following instructions and schedules.

A progress in this area is a good sign that your child is ready for preschool.

Comfortable around other adults and children

The first few days of tears shouldn’t be an issue when your child starts attending preschool. They should be able to adapt to his new environment pretty soon if they are comfortable to be with teachers and other children around his age.

So, do take time easing him into a similar environment when they are younger such as enrichment program and playgroups.

Able to cooperate and take turns while interacting with other children

Preschool activities are usually set up in a group environment.

So it would be best if your child has some form of social skills such as being able to cooperate and take turns while interacting and participating in activities with other children.

Every child is different in terms of cognitive progress. We believe readiness to attend preschool is better based on their development in oppose to age.

Some children may already begin to speak well at 2 years while some may only be so at 4 years old.

So, do take your time to nurture your child until he’s ready for preschool and beyond!

Is Your Kiasu-ness Harming Your Child’s Learning?

05/04/2018/0 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Eric Siew

Just the other day, I was having a casual conversation with one of our customers, and I was asked by a mom if she should send her child to a brain development class.

Her child is just 9 months old.

I was just… shocked!

I mean, really? Brain development class? 9-month old?

Apparently, all the mommies that she knew, were sending their children to classes such as these.

At first, you may think that it is a wonderful idea to send your toddler to these classes at such an early age so he is prepared for school in the many more years to come.

You can’t be wrong, right? Since everyone is doing it too. But is it really true?

Can early academic training produce long-term harm to your child?

Is preschool necessary before kindergarten?

Take a look at this excerpt from Psychology Today:

“Early academic training somewhat increases children’s immediate scores on the specific tests that the training is aimed at (no surprise), but these initial gains wash out within 1 to 3 years and, at least in some studies, are eventually reversed.“

It means that when you send your child for “training”, he will, of course, be good at it but these advantages tend to fade off as he grows, and it causes harm in certain instances.

Here is a study published in PubMed which states that sending your child to a preschool too early is not advisable.

“The youngest children were rated by teachers as having more language deficits, behaviour problems, and poorer academic progress at the end of the school year.“

As you can see, you just got to do a little digging and the answers you find may not always be in favour of what the community thinks.

How does a toddler learn?

To know what age do you send your child to a preschool, you must first understand how a child learns first.

A TODDLER LEARNS BEST THROUGH PLAY

The American Academy of Pediatrics has pointed out that a toddler learns best through playing.

Why?

Playing helps your child to get along with other children.
Playing helps your child to learn from adults. They observe what you do. How you treat others. How you communicate with other adults.
Playing helps them to understand emotions such as fear and anger.

So how do you do it?

First and foremost, you have to let your child play.
More play time the better.
Understand what your child likes. His interests. Then create activities that get his attention.
Play with your child too.
Have fun when you do it.
Playing and pretending helps your child to learn and grow.

Your role in your child’s learning is definitely the most important factor here. To play with your child is actually a lot of hard work. And exhausting too!

Then again, no one says it’s going to be easy. You want the best for your child, right?

Aren’t kids better off at the preschool?

While I am not against parents sending toddlers to preschool at an early age, but I’m not in favour of parents (without the right information) encourage other parents to do so the same, without getting their facts right first.

After all, we should know all the benefits and negative effects of making the decision. No?

I had written a short article on this earlier, which you may want to give it a read.

Now that you know how your toddler learns, you will have a better idea of picking the right preschool for him. A preschool that focuses on play.

You do not want to be sending your child to a preschool that makes him sit quietly, reciting words and numbers every day. This will not help his overall growth.

What are the disadvantages of going to preschool too early?

A majority of research conducted focuses on the socioemotional development of a child during the early stages of life and the effects are linked with sending your child too early to preschool.

WHAT IS SOCIOEMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT?

Basically, it is your child’s emotional growth, how he experiences new things, expresses himself, manages his own emotions like stress, anger, sadness, etc. and more importantly, the way he interacts with others.

To sum it up, here are the downsides of sending your child too early to preschool, or at least preschool that focuses mainly on academics rather than play. You will not see the effects immediately, but these issues tend to start with your child is older.

Behavioural issues

Higher chances of committing a crime, being aggressive, etc. I know right. Sounds a bit far-fetched if you ask me too, but these are the results of a research study but take it with a pinch of salt.

Language deficit

If your child goes to a preschool too early, do you think he would be able to sit down and listen attentively as compared to an older child?

Based on responses from preschool teachers in general, a child learns best when he is able to sit at least 15-20 minutes without being distracted.

Poorer academic progress

Similar to the above, academic progress tends to get worse when your child grows older.

TO APPLY WHAT HAS BEEN LEARNT IS BETTER THAN JUST MEMORIZING

If your child is able to recite numbers from 1 to 100 and is able to recognize all of them, you may think that his skills are pretty good.

But, wait. Before that, check again and see if your child is able to make use of the numbers instead. Get him to get 3 favourite toys from his toy box or 2 pairs of pants from the drawers. I believe you know where I’m getting at.

For another child who only knows number 1 to 10 but is able to make out what those numbers are for is considered better off than a child who can only remember and recite numbers without being able to apply them in real life situations.

A mature child will be able to grasp this concept readily as compared to a younger one.

Difficulty in interacting with others

If a child has been too focused on academics, he will have a tougher time in creating or maintaining relationships in the future.

Since he is groomed toward achievements at a very young age, other aspects of life no longer matter to him.

He may grow up being an “emotionless” adult and may even have difficulty getting married in the future!

The benefits of learning through play

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said this during Singapore’s National Day in 2012:

It is good for young children to play and to learn through play

Unlike some politicians who don’t know what they’re talking about (you know who), there must be a specific reason as to why PM Lee mentioned that.

Let’s take a look at Australia’s Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF).

I’m sure you are wondering, what is this EYLF?

This so-called framework is actually a guideline for children educator’s in Australia to follow.

It’s a format for educators to fall back unto when they teach children from birth to 5 years of age, and also during the transition to school.

And you know what? Learning through play is the main point.

You can read all about it through the Australian government portal, just be aware of the awful lengthy text.

So what are the benefits of play-based learning?

it helps your child to concentrate better
better learners
stimulates curiosity and creativity
develops a strong sense of identity (shapes confidence)
your child learns to engage with people and objects
learn about common sense in the social world
your child becomes an effective communicator
better at expressing feelings and emotions

If play itself is really important for an early childhood development, and preschool is part of your grand plan for your child, then having a preschool which focuses on play-based learning would prove beneficial, for both you and your child.

Take home points

Don’t be in a hurry to send your child to preschool too fast
Give your child time to mature
A toddler learns best through play
Look for a preschool that focuses on play rather than academics alone
Your child learns best when he is with you
Sending your child to preschool too early may worsen his academic progress later
Poor socioemotional development if a child goes to preschool too early

In my humble opinion, there is no right or wrong whether you should send your child to preschool or not. Preschool has its own pros and cons. We have to take into other factors like time, work and money too.

Facts are facts but we just have to be realistic. However, we need not be compelled to do so because others are just doing it. As long as you have the right information, just do what is right for your child.

At the end of the day, we just want our kids to grow up well and healthy.

References:

Early Academic Training Produces Long-Term Harm | Psychology Today
Little To Gain Much To Lose | Alliance For Childhood
Age of Entry to Kindergarten and Children’s Academic Achievement and Socio-emotional Development | PubMed
Younger children experience lower levels of language competence and academic progress in the first year of school: evidence from a population study | PubMed
Playing is How Toddlers Learn | Healthychildren.org
Belonging, Being & Becoming – The Early Years Learning Framework for Australia | Australian Government

My Child Won’t Eat Anything But Junk Food!

29/03/2018/2 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Eric Siew

If your toddler won’t eat anything but snacks, you are not alone.

A lot of parents are just in the same situation as you.

I see a lot of topics on how to break your child’s bad habit of consuming junk food, but hardly any topics to say why your child ended up with junk food in the first place.

My child refuses to eat anything!

Some parents may find it difficult to admit it, the fault may lie with the parents themselves.

Why was junk food introduced to a child at such at an early age?

A child has many years ahead of him to try all the food in the world, so do not be in a hurry to introduce junk food to him at such an early age.

I understand that most working parents are unable to supervise their child full time because of work commitments. Most children these days are taken care of either by grandparents, helpers or daycare centres. What happens outside is beyond our control.

We are the parent. We put our foot down and set the ground rules.

However, if children are at home, rules have to be enforced from time to time. If a child has started taking unhealthy food, these ground rules may help to tackle the issue before it becomes an uphill battle.

How to get a child to eat when they refuse?

When a child has started eating junk instead of regular meals, it is rather difficult to break that habit but nevertheless, it is doable but we have to be persistent in our execution.

What to do when a child refuses to eat?

Here are 5 quick solutions:

Regular mealtimes

As Malaysians, we eat 24 hours a day. That I get it. However, that does not mean our child should be doing the same too.

Fix the meals to 3 times a day, with no snacks in between if possible. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. No more. No less.

If he craves for something in between, give him fruit to munch on like an apple rather than giving him biscuits or crackers in between.

For a child who continues to eat throughout the entire day, he will feel satiated all the time. This will definitely decrease his appetite for food.

Don’t even talk about healthy food, he will probably have no interest in eating anything.

Hide the junk food

It is obvious that if junk food is readily available and visible to him, he will surely ask for them.

This also applies to adult. If junk food is right there in front of us, would we not be tempted to take them and eat?

Keep them out of sight. However, do not buy junk food is even a better solution.

Avoid juices

If your child is facing constipation issues, having him to drink fruit juices for the needed fibre are indeed beneficial. However, this has to be done in moderation.

However, if a child keeps drinking fruit juices all day long, not only does this contribute to a high-calorie intake but it will fill the child’s stomach very quickly too. With the stomach half full, do you think a child would want to eat any further?

There are other alternatives for fibres that can help with a child’s digestion instead of relying on fruit juices alone. You may want to look into those.

Stop forcing

No ones like to be scolded or forced into doing something. If you find that your child is unable to finish off the food, do not force him any further.

Keep the food and attempt again later. Keep the food in the fridge and reheat it later if he gets hungry. Let him know that you have saved the earlier food and he can have it if he is hungry.

If he refuses, then let him go to bed with a hungry stomach. A few nights with somewhat an empty stomach won’t starve him. This will teach him to appreciate food and not be picky with the food that has been given to him.

Do not bribe

We will be very tempted to bribe our child by offering him something that he likes by getting him to eat his food first. Do not do that.

This is not going to help as in the long run and we are cultivating a bad habit.

And besides, remember that our aim here is to cut off junk-eating habits. Not reinforcing them. A child will have the upper later, demanding for junk later before his meal or else he will not eat his normal meals. We are just fighting a losing battle here. Bribing is an easy way out but please avoid it.

List Of Healthy Food For Children

The list can be endless since it depends on how you prepare the food.

Less salt, less sugar, less oil, less of everything. Anything that is not considered junk is considered good food.

If time is available, preparing a simple meal at home will be great!

Given the circumstances that we may not have the time to cook all the time, pick pre-packed healthy food that can be prepared easily for our child.

When you scout the net for information about healthy food for toddlers or children, you will see tonnes of recipes on making different types of food.

The downside is, we do not really take that kind of fancy food since these food are not related to our culture.

Let’s make this simple. A general rule of thumb.

No pre-packed junk food which includes chips, jello, sweets and etc.
No fast food. KFC, McDonald’s, A&W and etc.
Steam the food. Not fry. If need to, air-fry.
Sugar-free. We get lots of carbohydrate from our daily meals such as porridge, rice, bread and noodle. That’s more than enough. No extra sugar is needed.
Avoid bottled or fizzy drinks.
Biscuits. Debatable, yes. Avoid if possible.
More vegetables and fruits.

As harsh it may sound, we should try to make it happen in an ideal environment. However, external factors (grandparents, kids’ friends, etc) like what has been mentioned earlier, are hard to control. Nonetheless, no harm trying.

How to get our child to eat vegetables?

Let’s face it.

EVEN SOME ADULTS DO NOT LIKE TO EAT VEGETABLES

If a child refuses to eat fruit and vegetables, then first we’ve got to understand why.

From more than a thousand years ago during our ancestors’ time, how can they tell if a food is edible, or not?

If we think about it, sweet food (like fruits and berries) are generally safe to be taken while the bitter and sour ones are linked to the poisonous ones.

Since then, this preference for sweet food has been brought down from generation to generation until today. Hence why food like vegetables which are relatively tasteless is not as interesting as the junk ones.

So what we do about it?

Here are a few methods we can use:

Start off with vegetables that are somewhat sweet naturally like corns, carrots or potatoes.
We can ask our child how they want their vegetables to be cooked.
Make some sauce to go with the vegetables.
Keep trying for at least 10-15 times before he gets used to it.
We have to eat our vegetables too in front of our child (preferably with lots of enthusiasm).

What are the effects of eating junk food in early childhood?

The effects are plenty but I’ll list down the 5 important ones:

Obesity

Junk food contains a lot of unnecessary sugar. And salt too. If a child takes up so much sugar at a given time and is unable to utilise the amount of sugar ingested, where does the sugar go?

The extra sugar will be converted into fats and stored for use later, which will never happen if a child is not the active type and continues with his bad eating habits.

Bad eating habits

If a child eats lots of junks, his appetite will always be suppressed and will not be willing to eat his regular meals.

With all the instant sugar the child is getting from his regular intake of junk food, the sugar itself is enough to keep him going for the entire day without having a meal.

Metabolic diseases

Ever heard of diabetes, high blood pressure and elevated cholesterol levels? A child will be exposed to that if they’re constantly munching on junks.

If a child continues on with eating junk food throughout his teenage years and right into adulthood, just imagine all the amount of sugar and fats he has ingested throughout his growing years.

That itself is a recipe for disaster. Just like eliminating a weed, we have to pull it out from the roots. To prevent this from happening, we have to start at a very young age.

Tooth decay

This is straightforward and self-explanatory.

Poor concentration

I personally do not think this is a detrimental issue as the phase is just temporary. Unless a child is continuously eating junk food, loading himself with a high amount of sugar.

Eating a heavy meal produces the same effect. We will feel sleepy and drowsy. Most of the blood flow has been redirected to our gut to digest the food. During this period, the blood flow towards the brain is minimal thus less oxygen is provided to keep our brain to keep us awake.

Does junk food cause hyperactivity in a child?

It’s no surprise to hear from parents saying that they do not let their child eat too much sugar at night as it makes their child overactive.

Do you believe it?

Truth is, there is no relationship between sugar intake and hyperactivity in a child. It was a misconception that surfaced over the past number of years and the theory was proven to be false when a study was published in 1995 by the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Sugar in the diet, be it junk food or healthy food, does not affect a child’s behaviour.

Just an interesting fact to note.

Take-home points

Start cultivating good eating habits from young.
Avoid giving a child junk food for as long as one can.
Be consistent when trying to change a child’s eating habits.
We may not see the complications of junk food in a child immediately.
Increased sugar intake does not cause hyperactivity in a child.

References:

4 Shocking Ways Sugar Affects Your Kid’s Health | Fox News
Busting the Sugar-Hyperactivity Myth | WebMD

How to Make Family Meal Time Fun & Enjoyable

15/03/2018/0 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Joyce Rachel

Eating together as a family takes on a new dimension as your family grows. There’s a baby who’s learning to self-feed, a fussy toddler who wants to have dessert for dinner and two parents who are trying to have a decent meal.

Sitting down at the table for a meal together as a family unit is an excellent way to foster a healthy relationship with food for your children.

They learn how to behave by watching the parents.

The ideal situation is when everyone is seated and the children are behaving themselves by eating and finishing their food.

In reality, the baby is throwing food out of his bowl, the toddler is whining for food other than what is served on the table, the father is trying to coax the toddler to eat and the mother is stopping the baby from throwing more food. Sounds familiar?

So, how can we make this time a little more enjoyable despite the imminent chaos?

Establish table manners

Whatever family rules you have set for table manners, make sure everyone in the family knows about them.

For example, if dinner starts at 6pm, everyone should be seated around the table at 6pm.

If you want your children to stay at the table until everyone has finished, make sure everyone understands this. Some parents prefer to let their children leave the table once they are done so that they can eat the rest of their meal in peace.

There’s no one rule that fits all.

Establish those that fit your family’s lifestyle; there’s no right or wrong. Whatever rules that you have decided for your family, follow through and be consistent.

Plan meals and prep ingredients in advance

When you’re taking a long time to prepare ingredients and do the actual cooking, you could become too tired after everything is done.

When you’re tired, it’s hard to be in the mood to enjoy eating with your family.

In fact, a complicated five-course meal isn’t necessarily appealing to your children, so best bet is to keep it simple and as fuss-free as possible.

So, rather than attempting to prepare three different meals (this takes up a lot of time!) or to make one meal the children will eat, you can try cooking three meals from one basic set of ingredients: a simple baby-friendly dinner, an eye-catching meal for even the fussiest of toddlers and a delicious dinner for the grown-ups.

Quick tips:

Marinate meats the day before and keep in the fridge.
Cut root vegetables into bite-sized pieces and keep in Ziploc bags in the fridge.
Cook chicken or meat broth during weekends and store them in mason jars in the fridge.
Replace water with broth to get tastier dishes.

NO gadgets at the dining table

As hard as it may be to put aside your gadgets, try to do so for the duration of meal time.

If not urgent emails or WhatsApp messages come in, make it a habit to leave it until after everyone is done.

By turning off distraction from your mobile phone, iPad or even the TV, you can focus on having a relaxed dining atmosphere, thus enhancing enjoyment and consequently encourages good eating habits in the children.

Encourage conversation

Make mealtime fun with an engaging conversation where the whole family could unwind and relax.

You could ask your children questions like “Who did you play with at school?” or “What’s your favourite game during playtime?”

Try to make mealtime a time whereby your children are looking forward to it and you’re actually enjoy sitting down and eating together instead of dreading it.

Drop the nagging and bribing

While you’re doing a good job at having a great conversational mealtime, don’t kill the mood with constant nagging and bribing.

Try not to get frustrated and angry if your children don’t clean their plate or they don’t eat their veggies.

Try not to bribe your children with dessert just because you want them to eat one more spoon.

Remember, the key to fostering healthy eating is enjoyable and pleasant family meal times.

Keep up the good work if you’re already working on it; good luck if you’re about to work on it!

The (Long Term) Effects Of Antibiotics In Toddlers

01/03/2018/0 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Eric Siew

Have you taken your child who is down with flu to the clinic before?

Just like most parents, I’m sure we have our fair share.

Ever tempted to ask the attending doctor whether there will be antibiotics given?

Tempted, right? And it’s a very common scenario across all countries.

But, why do you think antibiotics are good for your child?

Why?

Like it’s some wonder drug that it would get your kid to recover quickly.

Are antibiotics and child growth related?

Let’s take a deeper look.

What are the long effects of antibiotics in toddlers?

In case you are wondering why you’re involved and it’s the doctor’s job to give antibiotics in the first place, hear me out.

Yes, true that doctor ultimately holds the decision.

However, in the modern day society, doctors have been pressurized to do so.

We technically “demand” what we deem or think is good for ourselves, and in this case, our children.

Therefore, a doctor’s decision may sometimes be swayed by your influence.

That’s why in this matter, be careful with what you ask for.

OK. So what’s the side effects?

Obesity

If you don’t mind your child being on the chubby side, then you can skip this part.

But no right minded parent would want their child to be fat.

These quotes are from research papers. If you want to read through them, the link’s at the reference section.

“Repeated exposure to broad-spectrum antibiotics at ages 0 to 23 months is associated with early childhood obesity.“

“Because common childhood infections were the most frequent diagnoses co-occurring with a broad-spectrum antibiotic prescription, narrowing antibiotic selection is potentially a modifiable risk factor for childhood obesity.“

“Because obesity is a multifactorial condition, reducing prevalence depends on identifying and managing multiple risk factors whose individual effects may be small but modifiable.“

That being said, it depends on the choice of antibiotics used for your child too.

Broad-spectrum means an antibiotic that is powerful enough to kill even the strongest bug.

This includes the good ones in your child’s body too, especially the intestines.

Although the level of “fattiness” can be caused by a lot of other reasons, antibiotics can be a culprit. So if an antibiotic is not needed, don’t go ask for one.

Asthma

Pretty sure you’ve heard of asthma, right?

Not exactly a fun thing to have, especially it’s a long-term thing.

“Children treated with an antibiotic in the first 3 years of life are more likely to develop asthma, but there is no evidence that the exposure to an antibiotic is associated with increased risk of asthma exacerbations.“

Whoa. Apa macam? To take antibiotics also there’s a risk of getting asthma.

That’s the cold hard truth. Proven through research and not through my words, can’t deny it.

Apparently, it’s got something to do with the normal and good bacteria that stays in the gut. Using antibiotics in early life unnecessarily kills them.

By killing them off, the ecosystem in the gut is changed indirectly affecting the child’s immunity as well.

Regardless of whether there is a direct relationship or not, the statistics of excessive usage of antibiotics and the risk of getting asthma don’t lie.

So, just be wary of it. Especially true for children less than 3 years of age.

Depression

What? Depression? To be honest, I feel this kind of far-fetched so take it with a pinch of salt.

This could be caused by a lot of other factors too.

“Researchers at Tel Aviv University in Israel found treatment with just one course of antibiotics increases your risk of developing depression and anxiety.“

Nonetheless, it’s good to know about it since it’s part of the game.

Antibiotic resistance

This is one of the more obvious risks involved. I’m sure you’ve heard of it too.

If your child keeps taking antibiotics, there is a risk that the same antibiotic may not work in the future. The bug may have grown stronger and it’s not easy to be killed.

Just so you know, there’s a limit to the types of antibiotics available.

Once you’ve used everything, what else is available? How? How?

Always remember, taking antibiotics do not hasten the recovery process.

A majority of illnesses are caused by viruses instead of bacteria. It’s the same analogy as using diesel in a petrol tank. Way off point!

Drug allergies

This is another important point to note.

Antibiotics, at the end of the day, is still a drug. An all drugs have some side effects.

If it’s the milder ones, like some itchy rash after consuming the antibiotic is fine.

But, what happens if it’s an extensive allergy?

A full blown allergy in which a child develops difficulty in breathing due to the tightening of the airways and the skin starts to burn?

No parents would ever want that to happen. Never.

My thoughts

I believe antibiotics should only be used in situations where antibiotics are really needed.

Not to satisfy you. Not to satisfy the treating doctor nor everyone else.

More importantly, it is meant to treat your child and kill a bug.

Most illnesses like the common flu are caused by viruses really does not need any antibiotics. Really.

If there are no bacteria to be killed, then keep it for days when your child really needs it.

References:

The scary truth about antibiotic overuse in kids | Today’s Parents
Association of Antibiotics in Infancy With Early Childhood Obesity | The JAMA Network
Early life antibiotic use and the risk of asthma and asthma exacerbations in children | Pubmed

10 Characteristics Of A Spoiled Child (Full List)

11/01/2018/2 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Eric Siew

Have you seen children talking back to their parents?

Or when you are in public, you see kids wreak havoc.

You shake your head in disbelief with this running through your mind “For God’s sake, what are the parents doing?”

Then you think to yourself, “Is my child spoiled?“.

Characteristics of a spoiled child

Like many of us, we may know some stuff here and there.

Unless we know everything beforehand, we will not know what to expect out of our kids.

We may jolly well spoiling them before we know it.

Here are 10 characteristics that point toward a spoiled child:

You give in easily
Use of empty threats
Inconsistency in your words
Rude
Has to be bribed
Pampered
Talks back at you
Throws tantrums (manipulative)
Your child is the decision-maker
Overprotected

1. You give in easily

After a tired day at work, you just do not have the energy to keep up with your child’s antics.

Things that your child should not be doing (like drawing on the wall), you let him do it with the mindset of I will clean up the mess later instead of reinforcing to your child that he should not do it.

This gives your child the liberty to do whatever he wants.

2. Use of empty threats

“You don’t do this now, I will throw away (insert your child’s favourite object) from you!”.

At the end of the day, the object remains in the household.

You did not honour your own words

Sounds all too familiar?

Over time, these empty threats will sound meaningless to your child.

He knows you are not doing to do it.

The more so for him to climb over your head.

3. Inconsistency in your words

One minute you say this, and the other minute, that.

You tell your child not to go near the stove and the next time, you tell your child it’s fine as long as he does not touch anything.

The word compromise is best to describe the whole situation.

In order to trade off an hour of screaming and tantrums, you shift your stance, indirectly giving in to your child’s demands.

4. Rude

Have you watched Kingsman?

If you did, I am sure you came across this quote:

Manners maketh man

One of the best quotes I heard thus far.

It means that politeness and good manners are essential to humanity.

It is important to instil words like “please“, “thank you” and “sorry” into your child at an early age but unfortunately, parents tend to forgo these thinking that it does not really matter as their child is still small.

5. Has to be bribed

Less effort and it gets the job done.

Who does not want it, right?

To be honest.

Bribing is just an easy way out

However, be warned. Your child will expect the same “short-term gains” from you again for the same effort, or even more!

For example, you get your child to pick up and pack his toys by offering him sweets and biscuits.

The next time you ask him to do the same, he will expect the same reward (bribe) from you.

6. Pampered

As parents, it is not easy to stop ourselves from buying toys for our kids.

We just want to shower our kids with toys just to see their happy little faces.

However, too much of something is always a bad thing.

Toys will be taken for granted.

There will be no sense of gratitude as your child expects you to get her a new one anyway.

7. Talks back at you

Nothing gets worse than having your child talks back at you.

However, to some parents, they tend to ignore the fact that the child is actually being rude and but gives a justification that their child is just being cute.

Having lack of insight is unfortunately really common these days.

8. Throw tantrums (manipulative)

Throwing tantrums are normal for a growing child. It is normal for a 2 to a 3-year old child to have tantrums.

It is part of a normal development and it’s a way for little ones to express their feelings.

However, if tantrums persist even in a 6-year old child, then something is definitely not right.

It can be manipulative.

9. Your child is the decision-maker

What to do over the weekend? Your child decides.

What to eat? Your child decides.

What to wear? Your child decides.

Able to make decisions are good, but being able to tolerate with others is even better.

If your child just wants thing his way, then you better watch out.

10. Overprotected

Your child falls and a minor scratch on his knees – you run to him quickly and pick him up like there is no tomorrow.

Your child can’t fix a puzzle and starts throwing a fit – you solve the puzzle for him quickly.

Your child can’t ride a bicycle and feels frustrated – you buy an electronic automobile for him.

The cold hard truth is, it does not work that way in the real world.

Hurdles and challenges build character.

You, on the other hand, is destroying one’s instead.

In Conclusion

Just a reminder, the list above is not meant for toddlers.

Especially not for children below the age of 3.

If you strongly feel that your child needs help, do speak with a healthcare professional to ascertain the problem.

This article serves as a rough guide and it is meant to identify possible issues so that they can be rectified early.

Take it with a pinch of salt, really.

So, are you raising a spoiled child?

What are the actions that you have taken so far?

Share with us in the comments below, so it can be of help to other parents too!

References:

Is Your Child Spoiled? | WebMD
Permissive Parenting: 7 Signs Your Kid Is a Brat | Care.com
Are You Raising a Spoiled Brat? | Parents

Can Rain Actually Make Your Child Sick?

20/07/2017/2 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Ethissa

I am sure having to grow up in Malaysia, your parents or family members would have told you not to play in the rain because playing in the rain will make you fall sick.

To be honest, I have been told the same thing too, despite what I have studied and all, this belief is still stuck deep within me. I find it rather hard to shake it off either.

Does rain actually make your child sick?

I am no myth-buster but what I can provide you is the cold hard facts. Take a moment and think about it. Does the question itself even make any sense to you?

Let’s take a look at it this way. What actually causes your child to be sick? It has to be some form of bug, be it viruses or bacteria that are partying happily within your child’s body.

So how can rain, or make it simpler, water makes your child sick? Will you get sick if I were to take a cup of water and splash it on you? That’s a definite no. Unless you are swept away by a typhoon, rain will not make you or your child sick.

RAIN DOES NOT MAKE YOUR CHILD SICK

Okay, I am sure you are going to ask this: Why does my child get sick each time he gets caught in the rain?

Some children do have a weaker immune system compared to others. Their immune system is generally affected by a whole lot of other factors too.

Let’s touch a little on how does your child actually get a weaker immune system first. Some of the common ones include:

Stressed out.
Not in a happy state.
Going to bed late.
Eating unhealthily such as junk food.
Staying indoors most of the time with no physical activity.

As compared to adults, a growing child builds his immune system as he grows older. Hence, there is also a tendency of falling ill more frequently when he is at a younger age.

What does rain have to do with a weak immune system?

Patience, my friend. Like I said, rain itself does not make your child sick. It may be related but that does not make your child sick directly.

However, rain induces a state called hypothermia.

Hypo-what? Let me make it simpler. Hypo means low. Thermia means temperature.

RAIN LOWERS YOUR CHILD’S BODY TEMPERATURE

Here’s the thing. When your child’s body temperature lowers, his police cells which are meant to keep viruses and bacteria away from his body get shut down.

Just imagine your house that has been armed with security cameras, alarms, electric fences, etc. which are supposed to keep you safe have their electricity cut off? Burglars and thieves will come in and out as they please.

Apply the same scenario to the immune system. The body is the house. The security for the house is the police cells that patrol within the body. If they are no longer working as intended, viruses or bacteria come and go as they please.

INFECTION MAY OCCUR WHEN BODY TEMPERATURE IS LOW

Rain temporarily weakens an immune system. It gets even weaker if the immune system has not been well-taken care of.

So if someone is to sneeze at your child, or has some form of flu-like symptoms when his body temperature is lowered, there is a high chance that your child may fall sick.

If your child who keeps himself healthy by taking in healthy food and exercise, he will fair better than other children who was a weaker immune system.

Henceforth, understand this. Rain does not make your child sick, it weakens the body, making it vulnerable to viruses and bacteria, especially the common cold, or what we like to call flu.

Why my child gets a runny nose after being in the rain?

Do you know the real reason why your child has a runny nose after being in the rain? This condition is related to a mixture of biology and physics.

When it rains, the temperature is cooler than normal. Your nose is meant to humidify the air that enters your lungs. Try opening up the freezer compartment of your fridge and take in a deep breath.

It feels a little uncomfortable in the beginning right? As time passes, your nose gets adjusted to it and adds moisture to the dry air to make it lung-friendly.

HAVING A RUNNY NOSE DOES NOT MAKE YOUR CHILD SICK

In cold weather conditions during rainy days, the nose produces a little too much moisture that it leaks out. Therefore, you will experience some runny nose.

As for physics wise, what happens if you blow a breath of hot air onto a cold mirror?

It fogs it up, creating little droplets of water. This process is called condensation, or “kondensasi”. I am pretty sure you have learned it during Form 3, 4 and 5.

As we exhale hot air out through our nose in a cold environment, it creates water droplets at the outlet. Yes, your nostrils. Water droplets tend to accumulate around the nostrils and it makes a runny nose even runnier.

So yes, your child may experience a runny nose after being in the rain but that does not mean your child is sick!

How to not get sick after getting caught in the rain?

If you have been reading what I have been saying so far, I believe you have the answer right there.

Getting wet in the rain is OKAY. What is not alright is prolonging the hypothermia state.

In order not to get sick after that, make sure you dry your child up. A warm shower would be great to get his body all warm and fuzzy again.

Being Malaysians, we love our air conditioners. However, that doesn’t mean you should let your child dry himself up in a cold environment.

You do not want his body temperature to go any lower than it already has.

Also, try to avoid meeting up with other children who are sick, especially in closed up areas. It will multiply the risk of your child getting sick altogether.

Remember the list of things that can weaken your child’s immune system earlier? Fix that. Sleep early. Eat well. And stay active.

Take home points

Getting wet in the rain will not make your child sick.
Strengthen your child’s immunity by eating and sleeping well. Exercise too!
Dry your child as soon as he is out of the rain.
A runny nose in a cold environment is a normal physiological response.
Go now, and let your child enjoy the rain.

Are Kids Better Off At The Nursery?

22/06/2017/0 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Eric Siew

There will be no lengthy article this week. Just food for thought.

I came across this article about kids being better off at a nursery rather than staying at home with mums recently, and personally, I do not believe it is entirely true.

In the article, it talks about a research conducted in Germany and it was noted that kids going to nursery fair better than kids who stays home with their mums. The benefits which were brought up are as such:

better interaction with other children or adults
enhance the development of specific skill sets such as arts or music
improves speech development

What do you think? Is it really true?

Parents who send their children to nursery will rejoice as this somewhat reassures them of doing the right thing. How about those who don’t?

In reality, there is no one size fits all kind of situation. Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made. Take a look at these scenarios.

Time Spent With Kids

Yes, the nursery is all good and stuff but that takes away the time you will be able to spend with your child. Yes, your child gets to mingle with other children and adults, be sociable and interactive but this situation devoids him the opportunity to know you better.

Good? Bad? You tell me.

Financial Security

It is not possible for both parents not to work unless you have a large inheritance. If you place financial security as one of your priorities, to provide for your child’s future, then nursery will be the next best option.

There is not much of a choice. Yes, your parents are a possible alternative to help look after your child but shouldn’t your parents enjoying their life now? I am sure your parents would love to spend time with their grandkids but to take care of your child indefinitely? I doubt so.

I have encountered many times, grandparents complaining about their children not being able to take care of their own kids because they are too busy working.

However, if you do not mind having less money and luxuries in life, you can freely pick between staying home with your kids or sending them to the nursery.

Type Of Character (You)

It depends on your character too. Are you the easy-going type? Overly anxious type? Don’t care type?

Some parents have difficulty leaving their kids into the hands of others. On the other hands, some are relatively easy going and do not mind as long as their children are being taken care of.

If you are the type who worries a lot and gets really anxious when your kids are not around you, the nursery may not be a suitable option for you.

Type Of Character (Your Child)

Same goes to your child too. No children are born with the same skills and emotions. Surely you are aware of that. If your child is the sociable and active type, the nursery may be the place to cultivate his development.

On the other hand, if your child is the quiet type and likes to have his me-time to explore his surroundings, he would definitely benefit from having you by his side, guiding him along the way.

How to get your child to learn fast and effectively!

Read Guide

Quality Of The Nursery

Just like schools, not all nurseries all the same. At least schools have some form of standardisation, unlike nurseries. In order to your child into a good one, you need to research to make sure that the nursery is up to par.

Of course, you have to factor in the cost, time and travelling distance from your home too. So by taking these into accounts, you have to decide what is the best option for yourself too, not just on how good a nursery is.

The video above gives a very valuable insight. It sums up really well on how children learn during their early childhood days. It is not about how good a nursery is, but rather how you allow your child to learn during the first few years of life.

Your child will learn the best through play. Playing itself will help your child to understand how things work. New ideas and concepts are born as a result of a play. Besides, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Therefore, are kids better off at a nursery? You be the judge.

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Are You Guilty Of Yelling At Your Child?

13/04/2017/0 Comments/in Baby Tips /by Eric Siew

If you are yelling at your child too much, you are likely to be in deep trouble. You are creating an environment that may pose a serious threat not only to your child but yourself in the future.

In this topic, I’ll take about the reasons we yell at our children, why we should not be doing it and the methods to overcome this before the situation turns into a point of no return.

Why does a parent yell at a child?

If you want me to be more specific, I’ll ask this:

Why do you yell?

Like most people, we do not yell for no apparent reason. If you do yell for no reason, then I suggest you better go seek psychiatric help. For most common folks, it is usually due to anger or frustration.

When it comes to getting our child to keep quiet, or even to listen to us, we tend to raise our voice subconsciously. Truth is, yelling at our child will not make the situation better.

It is not like your child will listen to you after you yell at him. Sure, he will keep quiet for a while but you will not be able to send the message across through yelling. What your child is feeling is fear and nothing about his actions and consequences.

What are the effects of yelling at a child too much?

He will not be able to understand the result of his actions.
Disciplining your child will be harder.
You will need to yell louder as time progresses to get your child to obey.
Your child will stop listening to you at one point.
You are creating a rebellious character in your child.
Your child starts to behave aggressively at the age of 4 to 5.
It causes your child to have low self-esteem and anxiety.
Your child is more susceptible to bullying in future.
Becomes fearful and struggles to develop relationships.
An emotionally troubled child has poor concentration.

How do I know I am yelling too much at my child?

Here are a few pointers that tell you that you have been yelling too much:

You have to yell each time to get the message across to your child.
If you have more than one child, your children will start yelling at each other too.
Your child talks back at you.
Your child yells at you too.
You are unable to create a proper conversation with your child.
The conversation turns into heated arguments easily.
Your child is more influenced by his peers rather than you.

How to get my child to stop yelling at me?

Ever heard of the phrase “monkey see, monkey do”? That’s right. Your child is learning from you.

Being parents, it is our utmost responsibility to keep our children safe. The second one is learning how to control our emotions.

If you tend to lash out at issues easily, shouts and tends to deal with matters with a loud voice, who do you think will see the most of it? Yes, your child. If daddy or mummy is yelling all the time, your child will perceive this as a normal state of affairs.

And once your child grows older, he will learn to yell too. For him, it is normal to yell because his parents do it too.

So how do we stop that from happening? Stop yourself from yelling. Let’s talk about it in the next section.

How to stop me from yelling at my child?

In cold hard reality, not to yell is almost impossible. We are a human being, filled with emotions and stresses of life. However, there are ways to minimise the yelling:

Control your emotions

Yes, we all get angry. You can be the most patient parent in the whole wide world, but facing anger is inevitable at times. However, it is your own responsibility to keep your emotions in check.

When you get angry, don’t lash it out at your child. Take it out personally. If you find it difficult to control your own emotions, you may want to consider seeking a counsellor or a psychologist to help you out. It benefits both parties, you and your child.

Make a commitment

Commitment is a big word. And to be committed and stay true to your word, you have to declare it.

To who? Your child of course! And also your family members. In return, you will try your best to uphold your commitment and not let anger overwrite your emotions.

Don’t pile it up

Have you ever been in a situation in which you thought, “I’ll just bring it up another day” when you are in a conflict? Don’t do that. Sort out your dissatisfaction before the sun sets.

Do not wait until it reaches boiling point. If it happens, hell will break loose and you will lose your temper. Your poor child, unfortunately, will be in the line of fire.

Turn away from anger

Like I said, we all get angry. However, always remember to tell yourself this: Turn away!

You may not be able to sort out this issue with your child at that very moment when you are angry, as things will just escalate even further. Why not just walk away and cool your head off?

Leave the scene and breathe in some fresh air. No space to run to? The toilet is your best friend. Take a dump and wash your face before you set things right with your child.

Once the situation is calm, re-plan your approach and speak to your child about it.

Learn to accept

Children will always be children. They will test your patience, until the very end. When your child gets upset, he will retaliate. This is normal as your child is growing and maturity takes some time to develop.

So do not scold your child. Understand that he is still growing and it is important for you to be there for him, not just yelling at the top of your voice.

Do I have anger management issues?

If you tend to get angry and yell more frequently, you may need help in controlling them. To identify the problem, here are a few symptoms that indicate that you may have anger issues:

Gets angry easily at minor issues.
Feeling guilty or regret after getting angry, repeatedly.
Feeling edgy, irritation and annoyed all the time.
You break things or drive recklessly.
You get into fights (verbally or physically).
Your family members tell you that you have anger issues.
You have co-existing chronic medical conditions such as hypertension, gastrointestinal upsets (constipation, bloatedness, abdominal aches, etc.) or anxiety.

If you have the symptoms stated above, you may want to consider seeking help, be it with a counsellor or a psychologist.

Which psychologist/psychology centre in Malaysia should I go to?

As far as I know, there is one psychologist in Klang Valley who is quite reputable. He was my teacher many years back and he is still actively practising. He has 30 over years of experience in applied psychology and was featured in radio talk shows many times. Here are his particulars.

Mr Paul K Jambunathan (picture from Star2.com)
Consultant Clinical Psychologist

Beacon Hospital
No. 1, Jalan 215, Section 51,
Off Jalan Templer 46050,
Petaling Jaya.

Clinic days: Tuesday and Thursday
Phone: +603-76207979 / +603-77872992 (Ext: 2901/2902)
You have to call up and schedule an appointment with him.

Alternatively, you may want to consider this psychological service too. Personally, I’ve never been to one of the centres before but based on the reviews, it has favourable ones. It is made up of a team of psychologists, a counsellor and a psychiatrist. I sincerely doubt you need to a psychiatrist just for anger management, unless you are yelling for no reason.

Serene Psychological Services
2D Level 2, Wisma Lifecare,
Jalan Kerinchi,
Bangsar South 59200,
Kuala Lumpur.

Operating hours: Daily from 9 am to 6 pm. (including Sundays)
Phone: +6018-7772242
You have to call and book an appointment too.

How to get your child to listen without yelling?

Instead of me telling you the reasons not to yell at your child throughout the entire article, let me provide you with the solution as well.

There are just too many long winded stories and answers online but let me take the liberty in putting them in simple language, at least that is how my brain works anyway.

Offer cooperation

Instead of instructing your child to do this and that, you should ask your child an open-ended question instead.

For example: “WEAR YOUR SHOES BEFORE YOU GO OUT!” vs. “What should you do before you go out?”

It helps to create a 2-way conversation between you and your child, which helps your child to understand the reason why he needs to wear his shoes before going out.

Learn about your child’s development

You can’t expect your child to do something that he is not capable of doing it yet, right? Yelling at him won’t change that.

If your child is in the phase of running around and not being able to sit still, then he won’t. You can shout at him 1000 times but it just won’t do. If you want to know more about this, you may want to read another article of ours: O.M.G! Why Can’t My Child Sit Still?

Avoid confrontation

Like it or not, your child will always like to test his powers, especially at you. He will scream, cry and yell at you to get what he wants.

If you give in, he will just do it again since he knows it works. If you yell, he will yell back to gain control. No one likes losing, even you.

When this happens, just tell your child with a firm voice that you will not talk to him unless he calms down. Walk away after that. As a result, your child will soon understand that yelling or screaming is not the right solution. Once your child is calm, reason with him. Not easy, when it comes to testing your patience but it is doable.

Speak eye to eye

No one likes to talk down upon, even your child. So get down to your child’s eye level when you speak to him.

Your gesture lets your child know there is space for communication. When there is an eye connection, the tone of the conversation changes too and it reassures your child that you understand his feelings too.

The take home points

We are human beings with emotions, it is okay to get angry and yell at times.
Do not yell excessively at your child.
There are a lot of consequences and setbacks from yelling at your child.
Your child will learn to yell like you.
Stay away from the conflict zone until everything calms down.
If you get angry easily, seek professional help.
Learn to reason and speak to your child without needing to yell.

References:

The Long-Lasting Effects of Yelling at Your Kids | Healthline
You Can Stop Yelling. Here’s Your 10 Step Plan | Aha! Parenting.com
Anger Management | Mayo Clinic
Discipline Without Screaming | Parents.com